Category Archives: First Times

Let’s Talk Poly w/ Jak!

Eat Your Girl Right!

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Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I’ve been writing about oral for years but I’ve mostly covered going down on men with penises. Today, though, I was to talk about the reality of going down on your female partners who have vaginas.

For most of my adult life I didn’t like the idea of men going down on me. It’s not that men shouldn’t, it was just a “girl zone” in my head. As a queer woman, the idea of a women going down on me made perfect sense.

I was dating a man a few years back, the first PERSON to go down on me. He was “great” at it, though, at the time I didn’t have anything to compare it to. Now, as of late, my current partner Christopher is the only man who goes down on me. I adore him and his eagerness to respect my boundaries and blow my mind at the same time.

In the beginning of our relationship it was difficult for him to have me recoil at the idea of him between my legs. But honestly, after trust was established it became less of a thing.

Oral is just another way to connect with your partner while you’re bumping uglies.

I realize that for some of us, our identities can sometimes be our worse enemies. I identified as a lesbian for so long that even after dating men and identifying as queer, I still had hangups.

I’m not sure that I’d be comfortable now with just any guy going down on me, but I will say that I’ll be less afraid should the opportunity arise.

<3 Brittany Simon

brittany

 

Sleeping At The Foot of The Bed.

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I recently created a video that covered “how to make BDSM feel real.”
I essentially said: “BDSM is as real as you make it. Through rituals and protocol and consistency you created this to be a real thing in your life.”
Christopher disagreed with me saying, “BDSM is who someone is. You can’t just make it real by doing the things, for some of us, it’s real no matter what. If you hadn’t found me, if you never knew what BDSM was, you’d still be looking for it. You’d be searching for your Dom. You’re a Submissive, it’s who you are.”
I didn’t understand the depth of his words until last night.
In my soul, I know that this community is my home. I know that I do best within it’s rules and structure. I know that I crave to kneel at Christopher’s feet more than I want most things.
Weeks back, Christopher and I were spending time together, laughing and joking.
“I’m going to make you sleep at the foot of the bed when you’re bad,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t think so.”
In that moment, I was thinking of BDSM from a “fun, light and temporary” mindset. Sometimes, my brain is 100% aware that this is a serious lifestyle choice for Christopher and I. Sometimes, my brain forgets that because the world around me sucks me back into its everyday silliness.
Christopher and I do have a reputation of being very “serious” about our BDSM because it dictates, truly, so much of our lives. It’s as important to us as a religion might be to some.
We take no steps in our relationships that haven’t been fully negotiated. When I give him more, he takes more, as much as he can. He doesn’t just want what I give. He wants ALL OF IT. He wants the things I don’t want to give.
So, when he says, “Who do you belong to?”
And I say, “You Sir.”
I mean that.
I am His.
He has Everything, All of It.
It’s all his.
So, last night, I was being punished. I had been bad over the last 48 hours and I wasn’t proving myself to be worthy of his Collar.
That night, in the most serious of voices Christopher informed me that I wouldn’t be sleeping in his bed. I would be sleeping at the foot of the bed.
Weeks ago, this seemed like a nightmare, but truly, as I knelt at his feet, I knew I’d earned it. I earned a sore back in the morning. I earned not being able to feel him pressed against me. I earned my punishment.
This lifestyle isn’t some flippant pastime for us.
It’s frightens me how peaceful I was when I woke this morning.
It frightens me that I want this.
It calms me when I live it fully.
When Christopher is truly mean, when he follows through, when he is my DOM and not my boyfriend, I feel truly free.
I am honored to be His.

<3 His.

Dear Men With Tiny Dicks.

Dear Men With Tiny Dicks,

Your dick size only matters so much, if not at all. Society has conditioned us into believing that bigger is better. Bigger is just bigger.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize as a woman who loves dick:

  • Anything bigger than 6 inches and I’m going to have to worry about how hard they’re slamming into me. I’m 6 inches deep. Anything bigger and my cervix is going to feel it. Now, I like my cervix being pounded, but that’s not for everyone.
  • It’s about the whole package, not just his package.
    • Seriously. Do you have anything to offer but a dick? If not, I can buy one that doesn’t talk or bring drama into my life. And my store bought one can vibrate. If all I wanted was dick I’d shop at a toy store. But some of us are interested in relationships. We want more than your dick. We want a functioning adult who isn’t defined by the size of their dick.
    • Women are only so deep. If you have a woman who’s three inches deep and a man with a three inch dick, perfect!
    • Look presentable: This one is targeted towards the guys out there with smaller dicks and a shitty package. You complain that women don’t want you because of your dick. I find that it’s also because you have a shitty personality, a bad sense of fashion and literally no interest in improving yourself.
      • Only the select few of us have won the genetic lottery and can roll out of bed smoking hot. Most of us have to work at it. I shall prove it.
DSC00109

Me with no make up, my hair undone and just out of bed.

After some effort!

After some effort!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, please, before you bitch and moan about how your dick is the issue, make sure it’s not you.

<3

Brittany

 

 

 

 

How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Be More Dominant?

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I got a question on tumblr from a woman, essentially asking how she can get her boyfriend to take more control…

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I created a video as a response.

 

I also wanted to add a list of ways to help those entering into control dynamics.

Ways Your Top/Dom/Master Can Take Control In Every Day Life:

  • The bottom greets the top with a specific saying.
    • “Good evening, Sir, how was your day?”
    • “Good evening Mistress, welcome home.”
  • The bottom uses specific titles instead of their name.
    • Instead of Bob, call him Sir.
    • Instead of Susan, call her Ma’am.
  • The top can pick out the bottom’s clothes when headed to an event.
    • I often lay out three dresses for Christopher to choose from or he’ll have one in mind already (Christopher only chooses what I wear for special events, though some people do it every day).
    • The Top gets to dictate when the bottom cums or masturbates.
      • Sometimes it’s as simple as, “You will not masturbate until I see you, that way you’ll be begging me to fuck you.”
      • Or, “You will masturbate today for ten mins, but you will not cum until I say so, or maybe not at all…”
    • Top can choose whether or not the bottom wears panties for the day/or event coming up.
      • Christopher loves to take away my panties because I’m a very wet person, so he knows I have to be careful where I sit and how move around (especially since he’ll put me in a short dress on nights with no panties).
    • The Bottom will have a meal prepared for the Top when the top comes over/wakes up/gets home from work.
    • The bottom will massage the tops feet during TV time.
    • The bottom will kneel while the top feeds them dinner.

These are just common ways for Tops/Doms/Masters to take control. There are always other methods, but remember, taking control means different things for different people.

Explore! Have fun!

I hope this helps!

<3 Brittany