Category Archives: Threesome

My YouTube Channel Is Back!

Hello Ladies and Dudes!

It’s been almost a year since I’ve left YouTube. I’ve decided it was time to come back.

I spent countless hours trying to find videos that covered life as a queer, feminist, poly and BDSM person and I couldn’t find it. I found parts of it, or forms of it, but not exactly what I was looking for. So, here I am, I’m going to create the videos that I want to see.

Check Out The Intro/Welcome Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_HEOn35ofA

 

 

New Videos every Tuesday 🙂

<3

Brittany

Falling in love with Theodore Wasn’t Supposed To Happen.

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

Theodore is twenty-two (23 in May), plays PC games, is on Reddit, thinks feminism is outdated (humanism is more his thing) and he’s pushy as hell.

The things I mentioned sum up our major differences (his hobbies are valid, just foreign to me). Theodore and I have similar personalities and mostly the same hopes for the world, but our methods are very different.

These differences were enough for me to take him off the serious dating list. Instead, we engaged in other things, like friendship and BDSM.

As our friendship grew the differences between us became more apparent. When I went to see him he’d act like he did when no one was home. He’d interact with me but stay glued to his PC game or phone.

We’d be eating dinner and he’d still be plugged in. I didn’t grow up that way. When someone visits you focus on them, unless you see each other everyday (which we do not. We’ve got 70 miles of distance between us and I only see him 6 days a month tops).

So, these little details were getting to me. I kept thinking, “I cannot handle this behavior from a friend, let alone a serious dating partner”.

Then something happened, it wasn’t without effort either. He started paying more attention, ignoring his phone, turning off his game and actually engaging with me. We began having conversations outside of BDSM (though the ones about BDSM are important as well).

He started hanging out with my friends. He stayed over nights and we started doing things outside the bedroom and around Seattle (we still need to work on doing that more).

Then, on one lovely Friday night I took us out to a romantic dinner at “The Pink Door,” a beautiful Seattle restaurant. We dressed up. We had a lovely dinner, which I’ve wanted to do but was also avoiding because I get anxious at the possibilities of romantic love.

That dinner contributed to a change in how I felt about Theodore. I’ve loved him for months but something changed, not at dinner but the morning after.

The morning after we went out for breakfast and after Theodore drove us to an abandoned school (it was the weekend). He switched seats with me and proceeded to teach me how to drive a stick shift. I know this seems simple but it wasn’t. It was so important.

It was this beautiful moment. He was patient and kind. He laughed instead of yelling when I made a mistake. I’m a slow learner, it takes my brain ages to catch up, but this didn’t seem to bother him.

He challenges me in the way that I need in a partner. I cannot tell you how important that is for me. As I sat there I felt loved. Truly loved. Our sex life is amazing, but honestly, teaching me to drive a stick shift was the most important thing we’ve ever done together.

He’s challenging me and giving me a skill that will actually be useful to me for the rest of my life. I don’t know how many times I’ve needed to drive stick in emergencies and non-emergencies and never been able to. I hate feeling useless and with him I don’t.

The second part, equally as important as the first: He’s never asked me to change.

He never complains that I work over 50 hours a week. He only challenges me when I complain about where I’m at in life. He’s never made me feel ugly, useless or annoying. He’s never tried to control me (unless that was negotiated – He is my top after all). I never doubt his affection for me, not now at least.

I don’t even know if he realizes that he’s done it, and he probably has, but he’s focused so well on the details of what I need from a partner that he’s proven me wrong. He wasn’t supposed to prove me wrong.

He was supposed to annoy me and ignore me and treat me like a disposable friend. He wasn’t supposed to make time to see me, or respond to my phone calls. He wasn’t supposed to be a good friend, an excellent lover or even a good person. He wasn’t supposed to be so stupidly perfect.

I’m so happy I’m disgusted with myself. It’s just gross. I feel like a Halmark card.

Theodore and I are also poly. Dating him means I don’t have to stop seeing women. Dating him means that instead of my partner feeling jealous that I need a woman in my life, he celebrates it (and not because it might involve him having sex with two women). He has his Dom (his primary), plus another girlfriend and he has me. Trust me, jealousy isn’t an emotion that get’s played a lot in our life.

My life is actually working right now. I have a stable job, a partner that I see fairly often, an awesome apartment, great friends and I’m casually dating women.

For now, my cynical heart is melted. *Grumbles grumbles 

With Theodore, I feel like I can have my pie and eat it too.

<3 Bert.

Self Love: Humping Myself.

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

As you know I’m a sex positive feminist that owns three (soon to be more) toys for my personal pleasure. Personal Pleasure is the key point here. Masturbation of any kind only has one person in mind, yourself…unless you like to put on a show for people (which is a thing).

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I’ve been masturbating since I was eleven, at least that’s when I remember starting. I’ve spent years figuring out what my body likes. The first time I had a penis inside me was great, but felt like a really great art class that they only offer once a year. I was there to learn. I wasn’t there because of passion or love.

Sex toys also serve the function of spicing up intercourse. I always end up using toys during sex with my partner (Theodore).

He enjoys torturing me. He enjoys making me squirm. Trust me, even when I protest, I love it. Keep in mind, he and I have a relationship within the rules and structure of BDSM.

13795_961649053868440_2853567699802928328_nMasturbation is an expression of self love. Yes, many people, mostly those with religious backgrounds, are guilted by their love of masturbation. Trust me, I know. My parents used to tell my brothers that if they touched themselves their dick would fall off. My mother would tell me to save up my love for my husband.

I have never carried any sexual guilt. I’m not sure what I did right, but I left my parents house feeling on top of the world in regards to sex. I was a virgin until I was twenty-two. During that time I was learning to love myself. I was figuring out what I wanted.

I never thought to buy a sex toy. It just never crossed my mind.

It wasn’t until I was a few partners in and seeing Theodore and his girlfriend that I ever used one.

I was staying the weekend in their home. They have a beautiful king sized bed where we all sleep. Theodore and I were fooling around while his Dom was snuggled next to us reading her book.

I ended up on top of him. I’m not sure what I’d said or did but his Dom chose that moment to intervene.

She looked at us and then reached over the side of the bed, pulled out her Hitachi Vibrator and handed it to him: “Go ahead.”

Then she went back to reading

Theodore handed me the vibrator, put his hands behind his head: “Go ahead.”

I took it, “Me? You want me to use it on myself?”

He nodded, “Yep.”

I have stage fright when anything sexy is involved. I hesitated before turning it on. It was odd and wonderful. I learned how to use it on myself. I pressed it against me, over my panties, under my panties, with me on my back and with me kneeling. I tried everything until I ended up back on top of Theodore.

I need a lot of pressure on my clit to cum. So, as I pressed myself into the vibrator. Theodor used his hands and hips to press his body closer to mine, bringing the vibrator tighter against me.

I came on top of him and it was bliss.

It still took me months to actually buy a toy, even after that amazing first time. I’m doing a store run this week to buy butt plugs next 😉 I’m hooked!

Recommendations: www.LoveHoney.com < Great website. Great customer service. They always have deals. That’s where I bought my first toy before heading to a local shop.

<3 Bert!

Dating/Seeing My Lover/Boyfriend/Play Partner/Friend

NOTE: In the past I’ve used “C” as the name for my partner. I’m going to use “Theodore” as his “name” because it’s easier (plus, Theodore is the best chipmunk-Sorry Simon!). 

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

My lover/play parter/friend/boyfriend (that last one is his favorite, not mine) and I have been discussing the labels that we personally use to describe our friendship/relationship/lovership.

He’s twenty-two and I’m twenty-five. We essentially come from similar generations, though I would like to point out that I was drinking at bars when he was graduating high school. There’s a disconnect, even within that tiny of a gap. And yes, because I’m an ageist I take it into consideration.

We’ve been involved since September. It started out with friendship. We were introduced through our mutual friend. He has a primary partner (I’ve blogged about her before). She and I have been intimate, both on our own and with Theodore.

The focus of our dynamic is now centered (at least for me) around Theodore and I.  He and I spend time together: We shop, I cook dinner, he takes us out, we attend BDSM parties together, we talk and talk and talk, he tops me, I bottom for him, we have amazing-mind-blowing-sex (has literally left me in happy tears. I’ve nick-named him the Pussy-Whisperer…You get the point).

We do most of the things that people do when they’re dating, I know that. Yet, I can’t wrap my head around it. I was raised by very conservative parents, and taken most of what they’ve taught me and burned that shit, but there are still some things that’ve stuck.

Example: Dating has a point. You date to see if you and this person(s) want to get married. In my case (because marriage isn’t important for me and I’m poly), I date to see if I would like to build a life with this person(s) and go on Indiana-Jones-like-adventurous with them. And yes, I’m thinking long-term (meaning, until either of us really feels like breaking up would be better than staying together).

I’ve techinically had two adult relationships. The first with a woman. It became apparent very quickly that we’d be better off as friends. The second was with a man. This relationship is the one I consider a full-fledged adult relationship with plans to announce our love and possible buy property together. It lasted fourteen-months.

This went up in flames. What can I say? I just couldn’t do a monogamous/vanilla relationship.

Now, I’m in a situation where everything is going perfect. He lives with his Dominant (his primary). I live in my apartment with my brother and roommate. We see each other about five days a month (I could actually see him everyday and be happy, yes, I’m needy as fuck). It’s always magical when we’re together.

And yet, I still can’t handle when he says “I’m your boyfriend.”

It’s not a lack of love, trust or even interest. I’ve been conditioned to put value to that title. I don’t casual date, not normally. Getting into bed with someone is way easier than dating them. Dating, for me, is a gateway drug into a long term commitment.

Keep in mind, I’m currently dating girls, trying to find a partner in crime who’d like to go on those adventures with me. So, I am dating but it has a goal.

Like I said, I’m not opposed to dating Theodore, but with things where they are now, it’s seems like my kind of dating isn’t in our best interest and his type of dating is what I call having hot-sweaty-intimate-relations with someone I love.

The point of this post: It’s fascinating to me how so many of us can have so many definitions for the way we interact. No wonder things get lost in translation.

For the record: It would seem that 99% of the people in my life say that Theodore an I are dating. I’m willing to admit that we’re dating by his standards, but I’m hard-headed and until I hear: “I want the title of boyfriend and I’m going to earn it and I want it to hold the significance that you’ve given to it,”……well, then we’re still just people who love each other and get it on 🙂

This whole discussion was inspired by a conversation Theodore and I had. He called himself my boyfriend, I corrected him, and he said: “I wonder what makes our generation so afraid of commitment.”

I asked your thoughts on Facebook and here’s what some of you said:

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*kisses

         <3 Bert

 

 

 

Threesomes Are Awesome.

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Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I received the above question via TUMBLR (feel free to send me more questions).

I have had a threesome, actually, I’ve had a few now. I’ve been seeing a couple since September. We all identify as poly. The two of them are in a relationship, and I’m the lucky friend that get’s to hump them both.

My first threesome with them essentially began weeks before we actually ended up in the bedroom together. That’s the best part of being with this couple, they listen and actually discuss. We all negotiated before anything happened. So when I went in and the threesome happened I wasn’t so scared.  I negotiated, I knew what wasn’t going to happen, which made it fun.

So, one night, we were all sitting in bed and all of the sudden “A” (the female partner) starts kissing “C” (the male partner). I’m sitting there and just watching. It was mostly educational. I was studying their bodies, how they moved, and focused on what turned them on.

They were comfortable having me there (probably because they’re used to multiple partners), which helped ease my fears. I was nervous but mostly about my performance.

Eventually, “A” reached out to me and brought me in. All of the sudden bodies were moving together, moans were heard, orgasms had and we ended the night with cuddles.

As I sat there basking in the afterglow of my orgasm I had a moment of shock.

I spoke to them through the darkness:

“Guys, guys,” I said, “Was that a threesome?”

“C” groaned and tried to smother me with a pillow.

“You’re so cute,” he said, “I’m going to have to kill you.”

“Yes, that was a threesome,” “A” said.

Then we all high-fived.

After watching movies and growing up hearing about “The Threesome” like it was this magical thing that only happened in porn and male fantasies, I can’t help but think how easy it is. Sex is easy for me, in general, and sex with multiple people is just amazing.

The best part for me (in terms of my current situation) is that it involves a woman who actually likes women as well as men. So, I get the female attention that I desire. These people are my friends as well as lovers, not to mention they play a role in my BDSM life. I’ve chosen people who I trust, people who are safe and people who are fun to be around.

I’m not dating these people. I have no desire to date these people. I’m not sure how much that plays a role, but I will say that every time I have sex with them there’s no stress, no fuss, and no worry.

My female partner “A” will say that for her sex with multiple people is just sex. It’s no longer this crazy threesome madness that people make it out to be. Honestly, I think that’s where I’m at as well.

Remember: There are all different ways to have sex, don’t feel bad if it isn’t going well or how you imagined. Remember to have a  good time and giggle at the silliness (and there will be moments of silly). Sex is a great time to be a good student. Pay attention and learn about your parters and yourself.

NOTE: All my partners and I have gotten tested (and will continue to do so at least twice a year) and all new parters have to be tested and up to date. The point: Be safe, get tested and wear protection. 

I wish you all a happy threesome experience!

<3 Bert!