Tag Archives: First times

Eat Your Girl Right!

Facebook

Facebook

 

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I’ve been writing about oral for years but I’ve mostly covered going down on men with penises. Today, though, I was to talk about the reality of going down on your female partners who have vaginas.

For most of my adult life I didn’t like the idea of men going down on me. It’s not that men shouldn’t, it was just a “girl zone” in my head. As a queer woman, the idea of a women going down on me made perfect sense.

I was dating a man a few years back, the first PERSON to go down on me. He was “great” at it, though, at the time I didn’t have anything to compare it to. Now, as of late, my current partner Christopher is the only man who goes down on me. I adore him and his eagerness to respect my boundaries and blow my mind at the same time.

In the beginning of our relationship it was difficult for him to have me recoil at the idea of him between my legs. But honestly, after trust was established it became less of a thing.

Oral is just another way to connect with your partner while you’re bumping uglies.

I realize that for some of us, our identities can sometimes be our worse enemies. I identified as a lesbian for so long that even after dating men and identifying as queer, I still had hangups.

I’m not sure that I’d be comfortable now with just any guy going down on me, but I will say that I’ll be less afraid should the opportunity arise.

<3 Brittany Simon

brittany

 

Asking For Sex: Alice and I Get It On.

This is my method for dealing with people that want sex but don’t know how to ask for it clearly. Most of that hesitation is worry or feeling awkward (this is me, almost always at first).

 

So, Alice came over last night, for a sleepover. We were in bed, cuddling together:

 

Alice: “Eventually, we’ll take this relationship to a truly sexual level….”

Me: “Eventually?”

Alice: “When we’re ready. And when there’s time. And when you aren’t tired.”

Me: “I’m never too tired for sex. That’s when you have lazy, sleepy sex. The only thing stopping us is your inability to say “I want sex, now” And the fact that my roommate and her mother who is visiting will overhear us.”

Alice : “Yeah, they will probably hear us……”

Me: “I’d love to cum. I’d like us both too. I’m going to count to three and unless you say no, I’m going to kick my cat out of this room and we’re getting it on.”

I counted to three. Kicked the cat out of the room. And we got it on!

 

The point: Sometimes, when you’re with someone new, taking that step into sex can feel odd or awkward. It can take a lot of talking, which we’ve done over the last month.

 

Eventually, though, once you’ve negotiated and you know your partner, showing your clear interest helps. Alice and I negotiated sex. We have safe words. We understand limits.

 

We understand that either of us, at any moment, can say ‘red’ and what we’re doing will stop.

 

Sex isn’t anyways this automatically passionate thing, sometimes you have to build to that passion.

 

By the time we got past the ‘this is new territory’ I was moaning her name.

 

Sex/mutual masturbation/sexual intimacy is the connection of two people (or whoever is involved) and it’s an exploration of another person’s body, their vessel.

 

It can be this very intimate and important thing, and in that moment it was.

 

Alice and I have been talking about being intimate sexually for sometime and we really needed to push ourselves to do it, not because we didn’t want to but because it was a step into something new and we weren’t exactly sure how it would go.

 

Letting go of the fear of the unknown is, most of the time, necessary for growth.

 

 

Hope that helps some of you 🙂

 

Good luck on your future sex adventures!

 

<3 Brittany

Threesomes Are Awesome.

Screen Shot 2015-02-13 at 8.11.34 PM

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I received the above question via TUMBLR (feel free to send me more questions).

I have had a threesome, actually, I’ve had a few now. I’ve been seeing a couple since September. We all identify as poly. The two of them are in a relationship, and I’m the lucky friend that get’s to hump them both.

My first threesome with them essentially began weeks before we actually ended up in the bedroom together. That’s the best part of being with this couple, they listen and actually discuss. We all negotiated before anything happened. So when I went in and the threesome happened I wasn’t so scared.  I negotiated, I knew what wasn’t going to happen, which made it fun.

So, one night, we were all sitting in bed and all of the sudden “A” (the female partner) starts kissing “C” (the male partner). I’m sitting there and just watching. It was mostly educational. I was studying their bodies, how they moved, and focused on what turned them on.

They were comfortable having me there (probably because they’re used to multiple partners), which helped ease my fears. I was nervous but mostly about my performance.

Eventually, “A” reached out to me and brought me in. All of the sudden bodies were moving together, moans were heard, orgasms had and we ended the night with cuddles.

As I sat there basking in the afterglow of my orgasm I had a moment of shock.

I spoke to them through the darkness:

“Guys, guys,” I said, “Was that a threesome?”

“C” groaned and tried to smother me with a pillow.

“You’re so cute,” he said, “I’m going to have to kill you.”

“Yes, that was a threesome,” “A” said.

Then we all high-fived.

After watching movies and growing up hearing about “The Threesome” like it was this magical thing that only happened in porn and male fantasies, I can’t help but think how easy it is. Sex is easy for me, in general, and sex with multiple people is just amazing.

The best part for me (in terms of my current situation) is that it involves a woman who actually likes women as well as men. So, I get the female attention that I desire. These people are my friends as well as lovers, not to mention they play a role in my BDSM life. I’ve chosen people who I trust, people who are safe and people who are fun to be around.

I’m not dating these people. I have no desire to date these people. I’m not sure how much that plays a role, but I will say that every time I have sex with them there’s no stress, no fuss, and no worry.

My female partner “A” will say that for her sex with multiple people is just sex. It’s no longer this crazy threesome madness that people make it out to be. Honestly, I think that’s where I’m at as well.

Remember: There are all different ways to have sex, don’t feel bad if it isn’t going well or how you imagined. Remember to have a  good time and giggle at the silliness (and there will be moments of silly). Sex is a great time to be a good student. Pay attention and learn about your parters and yourself.

NOTE: All my partners and I have gotten tested (and will continue to do so at least twice a year) and all new parters have to be tested and up to date. The point: Be safe, get tested and wear protection. 

I wish you all a happy threesome experience!

<3 Bert!

 

What’s In A Kiss?

 

“Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” – Sylvia Plath.

Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I’m weird about kissing. Honestly, I’m just not all that experienced. My last lover took his time showing and teaching. we learned to kiss each other and no one else.

So, when I moved on to my current lovers it was odd. I’m dealing with new faces, new lips and tongues. I often feel like I’m learning to kiss all over again. I’ve slowly been getting to know my current lovers. One of them is the subject of tonight’s post.

Let’s call him “C.” So, “C” came over last night. The intention was to talk about our current state of friendship. I’m always eager to push people away, so having someone who is intoxicating is….troubling.

It causes me great amounts of anxiety. I take my friends, my lovers and even my fuck buddies very seriously. He’s a friend and lover. He’s someone that I want around. I’m still getting to know him (which he hates to hear). I’ve only known him since September, and for me that’s not a long time.

971485_540047222699003_329048039_n

When we first started out I wasn’t comfortable kissing him. It just felt so abnormal. He was this foreign thing. Kissing, unlike sex, is always intimate for me. I couldn’t bring myself to be intimate with him, not in that specific way.

Last night, things were different.

We were in the shower. I stood near the water, my mind consumed with thoughts that I can’t even recall. All of the sudden he grabbed me. In seconds I could feel the shift in our bodies. I could feel the control in his hands and the determination as he pressed his lips against mine.

I could feel those amazing butterflies. My heart slammed against my chest. I’m sure he can hear it. The world stopped as he kissed me and all I could do was sigh. I was so lost in that kiss that I’m unaware of my in-real-time reaction. I’m not sure if he could tell but I was melting.

Kissing him is slowly turning into my form of oxygen. I’ve never been a very romantic person, but the feelings I have for this person are confusing in nature. Sex is sex is sex, but this isn’t just sex. It’s something else.

It’s not “I want to be with you forever,” it’s not even “you’re a great fuck-buddy.” This is “I know I just had sex with you last night but could you come over again tonight? Can you come over and kiss me until I melt? Can you fuck me until my walls come down? Can you make me do that thing I want to do but I can’t say out loud? Can you hold me after?

It’s that good. He’s that good.

Everything about this man confuses me. He’s so easy to look over. He’s young, he’s (at times) naive, he and I share few interests, he’s not someone I want to build a life with but he is someone I would like in my life.

I find him fascinating, or really, I find my attraction to him fascinating.

As I read that quote from Sylvia Plath, I wonder:  Is this what she meant? Can a kiss, in the right moment, change everything? Can it make everything seem clear? Can a kiss hold the power to change hearts, even more so than sex? Am I finally seeing him?

So many things changed in that moment, but the possessive nature of that kiss was…impressive, intoxicating, thrilling and fucking adorable (I know, I know, gross!)

Who knows, maybe I’m more of a romantic than I let myself believe.

<3 Bert