Hello Ladies and Dudes,
Alice isn’t into me romantically, but she’s decided she’d like to spend more one-on-one time with me. I’m not opposed to this. She and I actually negotiated what we wanted from each other before talking with Christopher. The reason: We wanted to be on the same page first.
Alice is one of the those people whose chemistry meshes well with mine. She and I get along very well. We’re both headstrong, motivated, intelligent, passionate, empathetic women and we take very little shit from people.
We’re both readers, nerds and enjoy talking about vampires, werewolves and video games (though, that’s mostly her talking and me listening).
We’re currently interested in pursuing an intimate relationship. It isn’t about romance. It’s about knowing that we both enjoy each others company and that we can both fulfill the needs of the other.
Christopher is wonderful and I love him, but he doesn’t meet all of my needs. Those needs have to be met in order for me to be happy. Right now, Delilah (Alice & Christopher’s other girlfriend) isn’t meeting Alice’s needs. That’s based in the fact that the needs that have to be met CAN’T be met by our other partners.
Acknowledging that your partner can’t meet all of your needs is very important. It’s also the key factor in being able to grow and understand yourself in relation to your relationship.
I don’t know what place Alice has in my life, at least not in the long run, but right now I’m grateful for her. She and I have plenty of growing to do, and knowing that I have a friend who’ll be there willing to help me through it…that’s a pretty great thing to have.
The moral of this story: It’s okay when your partner can’t meet your needs, there are other people who can, that doesn’t mean you have to leave your partner for them.