Tag Archives: sex

Asking For Sex: Alice and I Get It On.

This is my method for dealing with people that want sex but don’t know how to ask for it clearly. Most of that hesitation is worry or feeling awkward (this is me, almost always at first).

 

So, Alice came over last night, for a sleepover. We were in bed, cuddling together:

 

Alice: “Eventually, we’ll take this relationship to a truly sexual level….”

Me: “Eventually?”

Alice: “When we’re ready. And when there’s time. And when you aren’t tired.”

Me: “I’m never too tired for sex. That’s when you have lazy, sleepy sex. The only thing stopping us is your inability to say “I want sex, now” And the fact that my roommate and her mother who is visiting will overhear us.”

Alice : “Yeah, they will probably hear us……”

Me: “I’d love to cum. I’d like us both too. I’m going to count to three and unless you say no, I’m going to kick my cat out of this room and we’re getting it on.”

I counted to three. Kicked the cat out of the room. And we got it on!

 

The point: Sometimes, when you’re with someone new, taking that step into sex can feel odd or awkward. It can take a lot of talking, which we’ve done over the last month.

 

Eventually, though, once you’ve negotiated and you know your partner, showing your clear interest helps. Alice and I negotiated sex. We have safe words. We understand limits.

 

We understand that either of us, at any moment, can say ‘red’ and what we’re doing will stop.

 

Sex isn’t anyways this automatically passionate thing, sometimes you have to build to that passion.

 

By the time we got past the ‘this is new territory’ I was moaning her name.

 

Sex/mutual masturbation/sexual intimacy is the connection of two people (or whoever is involved) and it’s an exploration of another person’s body, their vessel.

 

It can be this very intimate and important thing, and in that moment it was.

 

Alice and I have been talking about being intimate sexually for sometime and we really needed to push ourselves to do it, not because we didn’t want to but because it was a step into something new and we weren’t exactly sure how it would go.

 

Letting go of the fear of the unknown is, most of the time, necessary for growth.

 

 

Hope that helps some of you 🙂

 

Good luck on your future sex adventures!

 

<3 Brittany

Threesomes Are Awesome.

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Hello Ladies and Dudes,

I received the above question via TUMBLR (feel free to send me more questions).

I have had a threesome, actually, I’ve had a few now. I’ve been seeing a couple since September. We all identify as poly. The two of them are in a relationship, and I’m the lucky friend that get’s to hump them both.

My first threesome with them essentially began weeks before we actually ended up in the bedroom together. That’s the best part of being with this couple, they listen and actually discuss. We all negotiated before anything happened. So when I went in and the threesome happened I wasn’t so scared.  I negotiated, I knew what wasn’t going to happen, which made it fun.

So, one night, we were all sitting in bed and all of the sudden “A” (the female partner) starts kissing “C” (the male partner). I’m sitting there and just watching. It was mostly educational. I was studying their bodies, how they moved, and focused on what turned them on.

They were comfortable having me there (probably because they’re used to multiple partners), which helped ease my fears. I was nervous but mostly about my performance.

Eventually, “A” reached out to me and brought me in. All of the sudden bodies were moving together, moans were heard, orgasms had and we ended the night with cuddles.

As I sat there basking in the afterglow of my orgasm I had a moment of shock.

I spoke to them through the darkness:

“Guys, guys,” I said, “Was that a threesome?”

“C” groaned and tried to smother me with a pillow.

“You’re so cute,” he said, “I’m going to have to kill you.”

“Yes, that was a threesome,” “A” said.

Then we all high-fived.

After watching movies and growing up hearing about “The Threesome” like it was this magical thing that only happened in porn and male fantasies, I can’t help but think how easy it is. Sex is easy for me, in general, and sex with multiple people is just amazing.

The best part for me (in terms of my current situation) is that it involves a woman who actually likes women as well as men. So, I get the female attention that I desire. These people are my friends as well as lovers, not to mention they play a role in my BDSM life. I’ve chosen people who I trust, people who are safe and people who are fun to be around.

I’m not dating these people. I have no desire to date these people. I’m not sure how much that plays a role, but I will say that every time I have sex with them there’s no stress, no fuss, and no worry.

My female partner “A” will say that for her sex with multiple people is just sex. It’s no longer this crazy threesome madness that people make it out to be. Honestly, I think that’s where I’m at as well.

Remember: There are all different ways to have sex, don’t feel bad if it isn’t going well or how you imagined. Remember to have a  good time and giggle at the silliness (and there will be moments of silly). Sex is a great time to be a good student. Pay attention and learn about your parters and yourself.

NOTE: All my partners and I have gotten tested (and will continue to do so at least twice a year) and all new parters have to be tested and up to date. The point: Be safe, get tested and wear protection. 

I wish you all a happy threesome experience!

<3 Bert!